"Death at a Distance"
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It's really hard to hear someone say when you are dealling with a most tragic even in your life..." If you need anything, just let me know!" or "I'm praying for ya'll!" First of all, if I have to let you know that I need something, then you must be blind, and prayers are just a way of saying "Really, I've got nothing for you, and I'm just trying to make myself feel better."
Painful. That's what life has been like without my Mama. She was my best friend. She accepted me with all of my faults, and loved me for them. She celebrated my victories with me without jealousy. She would be so happy for me that I've finally beat "morbid obesity"
Her death brought my exile into loneliness, my search for someone to fill the place that she left in my heart. Both of which were unnecessary. I've kind of lost my own person in this process, but I've learned so much about myself in the last year. I'm far too trusting, my family is the only source of approval that I need, and that misery loves company. I'm not a jealous person. I've truly learned the difference between sympathy and empathy. I'm loyal to a fault. I have the kindest, most understanding husband. Last, but not least, do not allow people to exploit your grief, there are people who will, and it really is terrible to find out that there are souls in this world who will do that.
Painful. That's what life has been like without my Mama. She was my best friend. She accepted me with all of my faults, and loved me for them. She celebrated my victories with me without jealousy. She would be so happy for me that I've finally beat "morbid obesity"
Her death brought my exile into loneliness, my search for someone to fill the place that she left in my heart. Both of which were unnecessary. I've kind of lost my own person in this process, but I've learned so much about myself in the last year. I'm far too trusting, my family is the only source of approval that I need, and that misery loves company. I'm not a jealous person. I've truly learned the difference between sympathy and empathy. I'm loyal to a fault. I have the kindest, most understanding husband. Last, but not least, do not allow people to exploit your grief, there are people who will, and it really is terrible to find out that there are souls in this world who will do that.
This Old Thing?
I finally feel like updating this blog. Honestly, I've been in mourning. I lost my Mom to cancer January 9, 2010. It's been a rough year so far, but things are looking up. I'll recap the year.
We had Mom's Celebration of Life on her birthday, February 5. She did not want a funeral. She did not want anyone looking at her body when she passed unless they absolutely were essential in preparation for her cremation. She wanted to be remembered the way she was before she became so ill.
It's funny how when a person is born, and when they die, we count firsts. First holidays without Mama have been sad. Mother's Day was terrible. My birthday is coming up. It will be my first one without her. sigh.
Zach will be attending Angelo State University in San Angelo this fall as a freshman. He is very excited. I am too.
The little boys started going to public school toward the end of February. They have excelled, and I feel I did a very competent job as their teacher whilst homeschooling. Ian is being tested for Gifted and Talented classes, and Ryan is earning a reputation as a whizbang in Math and Science. They are enjoying summer, but are looking forward to school starting in August.
Jilli will not make the age cut off to go to Kindergarten this year, so we are homeschooling Kinder. She is so ready to learn to read. I feel like I have held her back a bit, but honestly, I didn't want to start to teach her, and have a rough time of it, so I decided to wait. I'm hoping it will make it easier. She is a quick study, so we shouldn't have any problems. We are doing a mixture of Calvert Kindergarten (math, science, reading), Saxon Phonics (reading, spelling) , and Funshine Express (crafts, fun stuff). She whizzes through lessons, retaining all information with out a problem.
I had lapband surgery April 6th. I'm doing very well. I think I finally have the band adjusted to where it will help in my weight loss goal.
Frank is well, still earning his degree while working full time, being a great dad and husband. I don't know what I would do without him.
We had Mom's Celebration of Life on her birthday, February 5. She did not want a funeral. She did not want anyone looking at her body when she passed unless they absolutely were essential in preparation for her cremation. She wanted to be remembered the way she was before she became so ill.
It's funny how when a person is born, and when they die, we count firsts. First holidays without Mama have been sad. Mother's Day was terrible. My birthday is coming up. It will be my first one without her. sigh.
Zach will be attending Angelo State University in San Angelo this fall as a freshman. He is very excited. I am too.
The little boys started going to public school toward the end of February. They have excelled, and I feel I did a very competent job as their teacher whilst homeschooling. Ian is being tested for Gifted and Talented classes, and Ryan is earning a reputation as a whizbang in Math and Science. They are enjoying summer, but are looking forward to school starting in August.
Jilli will not make the age cut off to go to Kindergarten this year, so we are homeschooling Kinder. She is so ready to learn to read. I feel like I have held her back a bit, but honestly, I didn't want to start to teach her, and have a rough time of it, so I decided to wait. I'm hoping it will make it easier. She is a quick study, so we shouldn't have any problems. We are doing a mixture of Calvert Kindergarten (math, science, reading), Saxon Phonics (reading, spelling) , and Funshine Express (crafts, fun stuff). She whizzes through lessons, retaining all information with out a problem.
I had lapband surgery April 6th. I'm doing very well. I think I finally have the band adjusted to where it will help in my weight loss goal.
Frank is well, still earning his degree while working full time, being a great dad and husband. I don't know what I would do without him.
We are still here. Just very busy. Mom is on weekly chemo. Zach is in Amarillo, doing well. Ian, Ryan, and Jilli are growing and thriving. Frank is as busy as ever (busier!) And I am just trying to hold it all together.
We decided that a "school room" didn't work nearly as well as we had imagined, and Ryan really needed his own room, so we are at the kitchen table, which we dearly love, books and supplies lovingly stored in the bottom part of our china hutch. Homeschooling is much more fun and productive when you remember to keep the "home" part. ;)
The other day my parents had company, dear friends that we had not seen in ages. B was asking me about homeschooling, and I was being open and honest. I did not realize until I started how strong people's feeling were about it. We get a lot of criticism, despite the fact that our children are doing very well. Somehow it came up that I let my children wake up naturally, and they all go on their own schedules. We have no vigorous routines. They know what they are expected to get done, and I find that working with them that way means I am able to have one on one time with them much more naturally. I don't expect them to take that stack of books and learn it by themselves. Anyway, back to the subject. Ryan is a night owl. No matter how tired he is, no matter how early he wakes up, he can't go to sleep before 10 pm. He is much more pleasant when he sleeps later. So I let him. Sometimes he doesn't get up until almost 10. Then he has brunch, and he is a pleasant kid. B asked me how he was going to fit into society if he doesn't learn how to get up and make schedules... hmmm. He is 7, he has commitments that he meets regularly (kung fu classes, appointments, etc.) Learning to be in his seat when the bell rings, and to stand in line at a certain time doesn't seem to me to be the only way to learn this. To B, I just smiled, and acted like I didn't quite understand. Most people only think they want to get into an in depth conversation about education... until you start challenging their beliefs about education, and how it should be handled.
.
It's cold today. Beans, home fries, and cornbread, or maybe beef stew and cornbread for dinner. I'll ask Frank what sounds best.
If you are reading this, please send extra prayers for my Mama and our family. It's getting tough, and I don't know how much longer she will be with us.
We decided that a "school room" didn't work nearly as well as we had imagined, and Ryan really needed his own room, so we are at the kitchen table, which we dearly love, books and supplies lovingly stored in the bottom part of our china hutch. Homeschooling is much more fun and productive when you remember to keep the "home" part. ;)
The other day my parents had company, dear friends that we had not seen in ages. B was asking me about homeschooling, and I was being open and honest. I did not realize until I started how strong people's feeling were about it. We get a lot of criticism, despite the fact that our children are doing very well. Somehow it came up that I let my children wake up naturally, and they all go on their own schedules. We have no vigorous routines. They know what they are expected to get done, and I find that working with them that way means I am able to have one on one time with them much more naturally. I don't expect them to take that stack of books and learn it by themselves. Anyway, back to the subject. Ryan is a night owl. No matter how tired he is, no matter how early he wakes up, he can't go to sleep before 10 pm. He is much more pleasant when he sleeps later. So I let him. Sometimes he doesn't get up until almost 10. Then he has brunch, and he is a pleasant kid. B asked me how he was going to fit into society if he doesn't learn how to get up and make schedules... hmmm. He is 7, he has commitments that he meets regularly (kung fu classes, appointments, etc.) Learning to be in his seat when the bell rings, and to stand in line at a certain time doesn't seem to me to be the only way to learn this. To B, I just smiled, and acted like I didn't quite understand. Most people only think they want to get into an in depth conversation about education... until you start challenging their beliefs about education, and how it should be handled.
.
It's cold today. Beans, home fries, and cornbread, or maybe beef stew and cornbread for dinner. I'll ask Frank what sounds best.
If you are reading this, please send extra prayers for my Mama and our family. It's getting tough, and I don't know how much longer she will be with us.
Still Here!
We have had a wonderful summer. We've been to Balmorhea State Park, Carlsbad NM, on up to Canon City Colorado to visit the Royal Gorge. We have seen some awesome places because we went geocaching (thanks Mr. Volkswagon for the awesome geocache tour of your area!) We visited one of my oldest friends in the world... (not that she is old, I have just been friends with her since we were freshmen) She was a delight and a jewel to behold. Then we went by to check on Zachy in Amarillo. He is such an awesome young man. We are very proud of him!
